Mick and the Mozzies
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Mick and the Mozzies

“Jeez, that stung!” I said to Mick as I squashed a mosquito on the back of my neck. "Look at the size of it will you mate". He takes a disinterested glance and says, “that’s nothing. You should have seen the size of the one's down at Baria a couple of weeks ago. Thousands of 'em attacked me.”

“How do you mean Mick?” I asked, as a few other blokes joined us in our four man tent. “Well I’ll tell you” said Mick. “As I said, I was down at Baria when, just like you, I got stung by a mozzie. Except, this ugly bugger was really huge with a 3-4inch stinger. A much bigger species, than the little one you just got pricked by.”

Mick continues… “I had just parked the APC and got out to make a brew and put me feet up. I’m layin' back against a rubber tree in the shade and just watching the clouds drift by while enjoying a smoke. While the C4 was doing a quick boil of the water billy, out of the corner of my eye I noticed what appeared to be a big black cloud approaching overhead.”

“Then a couple more Mozzies landed on me arm. Naturally I killed 'em.”

“Aw c’mon Mick, 4inch stingers?” I queried. Mick ignores me and goes on to say…

“As the dark cloud got closer I could see that it was a swarm of Mozzies. The first few that had attacked me were just the forward scouts, and they were bad enough. So I bolted as quick as I could, back into the APC for protection and closed the hatch. Just in time too, as I could hear them hitting the sides of the tank. When I got a chance I had a look out through the peep hole, and although they were all dead from their kamikaze attack on the tank, their bodies were piled up nearly a foot deep around the APC.”

“Then they regrouped, sent in the big guns and attacked the APC again. This was obviously the second wave of attack. But this time, the Mozzies went straight through the sides of the APC, as their stingers must have been more than 6 inches long and tough as a steel roofing nail. I picked up a length of pipe and bent the stingers over as they pierced the sides of the APC. I could hear the dreadful pinging sound, as they made contact.”

“All I could do was to keep hammering with the pipe and bending them stingers over as fast as I could manage. I knew that didn’t kill 'em, but I was doing the best I could under the circumstances. The sound of their buzzing was driving me crazy. But it sure kept me working away until I reckoned there must have been thousands of 'em.”

“Not sure how long I’d been hammering away at these Mozzies, but I was stuffed, I can tell you. They were well and truly hooked to the APC. It must have been 100 and something degrees inside that APC, but I sure as hell wasn’t getting out.”

“After what seemed an eternity I could feel the APC moving with the Mozzies wing flapping getting louder. I waited a few minutes, checked through the peep hole, only to discover, not only were we off the ground, but we were now well and truly above the tree tops and peering down onto a rubber plantation.”

“Me, and tens of thousands of Mozzies must have been airborne for a good 20 minutes or so when I felt like we were losing altitude. The muzzle's wing flapping was slowing down as they got tired. Ever so slowly, I seemed to descend in the APC as the Mozzies were now near exhaustion.”

“Finally the APC sorta landed, and came to rest at Nui dat, as the last of the Mozzies were well and truly buggered. I opened the hatch cautiously and could see that without the protection of the APC, I wouldn’t have stood a chance in hell.” “Sure sounds that way Mick.” I said. One of the other blokes gives Mick a grin and hands him another VB. Mick takes a swig from the cold can and continues…

“I didn’t like to say anything about it before, in case I was accused of exaggerating. But, eventually the truth came out.”

“Some miserable bugger put me on a charge, and if you like to check my pay book, you’ll see that I was fined $20 for flying without a license.”